Here I am, reneging on my promise--there will be no pumpkin pictures. I went to the Pumpkin Carvin' party last night, but I ended up not carving a pumpkin--nor did I take many pictures. I spent quite a bit of time searching for a pumpkin, but once I was at the party there really wasn't the space and time to carve it. There were a lot of kids at the party and as they have grown older, it is really more about the kids. Not having any kids myself, it is a little depressing for everything to change in that direction. It is great for all the others though, and I can't say that I would change anything. This now makes the second year I haven't carved a pumpkin. Last year I was working on a implementation of a project and had been up for 48 hours by the time I got to the party. Not only was I late to the party, but I didn't even have a pumpkin. I was worried that I was so tired that I might hurt myself. I generally use sharp tools to carve away the skin instead of using the kid friendly saws in the kits you buy.

Yesterday I saw on the internet that Dremel had come out with a pumpkin carving kit and I went to my local Lowe's and Ace hardware looking for one, but they have been sold out for days. It looks like it is impossible to find at this point. I already have a Dremel and if I could only find out which bit they are using, I bet mine would work just fine. I am not sure if I will ever try it though. Who knows what will happen next year. I could have carved the pumpkin I bought today, but I had so much stuff to do and I wasn't prepared to spend an hour or so carving. As a matter of fact, I shouldn't be typing this in. I really should be working on work stuff.

I think I might be experiencing a bit of depression. I just seem so tired all the time and it is so hard to get out of bed in the morning. Even at work it is a struggle to get anything done. Somehow I will get through it, but man it is hard. So, on we go, trudging through the days. The good news is that my friend's were planning to have their daughter baptized on Nov. 4, but things did not go well and now that weekend is open for me again. November 4 is World Wide D&D Game Day--and now I can participate. I am excited about that at least.

I am waiting for my cake to finish baking for the Pumpkin Carvin' party this evening. I am making something called Apple Spice Trifle--it requires a spice cake to start. Good thing it is easy to make a box cake. Once the cake is finished and it cools, it gets layered between a cream cheese apple mixture. It actually tastes pretty good.

I still need to go find a pumpkin to carve. Normally I would stop at a church on my way to my friends' house, but they moved this summer and now the church is not on the way. I hate picking out a pumpkin--I don't know why though. I may stop at a grocery store, but I worry that they won't have anything good at this point.

The cake is now cooling and all that I need to add to the apple cream cheese mixture is the non-dairy whipped topping which I will do right before I start layering. The recipe actually calls for Stouffer's Scalloped Apples and normally I can't find them so I substitute apple pie filling which doesn't have as many apple pieces. I actually found the Stouffer's Apples this time and I am anxious to see how it tastes.

Back to the pumpkin carving. Over the last several years I have started just peeling away the skin of the pumpkin instead of cutting through the wall of the pumpkin. I found some patterns on the 'net that use both carving the skin and cutting through the pumpkin to create more depth in the picture. I am not sure if I am going to try one of them this year though. There is a really cool one of Sauron from Lord of the Rings, but I am not sure most people would actually see it. There is also one of Gollum that I think is kind of cool.

I will definitely be posting a picture or two from the Pumpkin Carvin' this evening.

It has been a long week already. Over the weekend I filled in holes around the yard. It took longer than I had expected. First I had to rake the first fall of leaves and then I sprayed the entire yard with this "Earthwise" product that is supposed help break up the clay in my yard. Then I mixed topsoil with some lime (again to break up the clay) and some cayenne and black pepper. The pepper is supposed to help keep unwanted varmits out of my yard. I had a problem with voles earlier in the season--that is actually where many of the holes came from. I turned on the sprinkler system after I was finish and of course, then it rained. It was good that it rained because the "Earthwise" stuff needed to be watered in anyway.

After all that I went looking for something to wear to Grandma's funeral. My sister and my mother called to tell me I would be a pall bearer--my younger brother would be one as well. My brother called me to ask me to bring a coat for him to wear. Unfortunately, my suits don't fit well any more. Saturday night I went all over town to several stores looking for something suitable. Eventually I bought a complete outfit at Kohl's. It was fairly late by the time I got home. The pants were too long and the coat was a little tight, but I figured I would work it out.

Sunday was game day. I went over to a friends and played Dungeons and Dragons. I have been trying to document our game on another blog (Gareth Oldrich in Ados). I am behind in updating the information. Sunday night I did laundry and packed.

I had to get up a 3:00 AM to get ready and catch my 6:00 AM flight to Seattle. The plane ride was actually not bad. I waited for my older sister's plane to get in (about an hour) and then we picked up the rental car and drove to Wenatchee. I was kind of concerned about the drive since I don't really know this particular sister very well. I actually have problems knowing what to talk about with any of my sisters. I usually just let them talk and I listen. It was a good conversation and a good trip. Before I knew it, it was 2 1/2 hours later and we were at our destination. The return trip on Wednesday was just as pleasant.

The funeral on Tuesday was actually quite pleasant as well. I was a little concerned when very few people showed up for the viewing on Monday night. One of my cousins showed up with a couple of my second cousins. My mom's sister and my mom have been estranged for most of my life that I can remember. When Grandma started having problems they were forced to start dealing with each other again. Over the last ten years they have developed a more tolerant relationship. The main point is that growing up we never visited my aunt and I never really got to know my cousins or their families. It was very strange to be in a room with all these relations and have no idea who they were. My aunt's family also has a hard time with death. One of my cousins had a son killed not too long ago by a circus wagon. Her whole family worked at this children's circus over the summer. Her son had not wanted to do it this year, but they pushed him into it. One day as they were unloading something, the wagon toppled over and crushed him. Since they all have lived in the same town together, it was devastating to all of them. Evidently, during a viewing or something, the mortician came out and moved the body and a huge bubble of liquid move around in his neck--they were all very disturbed by this.

Anyhow, most of them did not want to see Grandma lying in the casket. It is weird, but in Washington, they open the casket at the end of the funeral for everyone to get one last look. Most of my aunt's family--including my aunt--left before the casket was re-opened. It was a very nice day for the ceremony and my brother-in-law who is a Chaplin in the Air Force co-presided over the funeral.

After the funeral we all went to my aunt's house to have some lunch. We spent some time getting to know each other and talking about Grandma. I always feel like I stand out at things like this, but it was a very nice time. After that I went back to the hotel and napped. We went to Applebee's (my mom and my siblings) for dinner and then back to my aunt's house to say goodbye. I spent pretty much all day Wednesday traveling.

One of the best things was that I got to see my youngest nephew. He is so cute even if he looks a little like a chimpanzee. My family is not very tall and my poor nephew is very small. He is so cute though with his red hair.

Unfortunately I had to go back to work today. I should have done more at work today, but it is so overwhelming. I am even further behind now than I was before. There is something wrong with this project that I just can't put my finger on. Part of my problem is that I just joined the project within the last month and everyone else has been around since the beginning. Plus, I am responsible for the major piece of the whole thing.

I am going to a friend's house this weekend for his annual Pumpkin Carving Party. I should have a picture of some pumpkins next time.

Carpe Diem
Seize the Day

Tuesday night I successfully checked out of my Intermediate Silver II dances. It wasn't nearly as hard as it has been in the past. Normally, my instructor makes me dance each step by myself to prove that I know the step. This time I actually got to dance with my instructor through the checkout. It makes it so much easier. My only problem is my contra-body movement (CBM)--basically turning my top half one way and my bottom half another way. The smooth dances have a lot more CBM than I would have thought when I started out. Being kind of thick in the middle, it is sometimes hard for me to get CBM. My doctor would probably rather I would put more CBM into my dancing to help me exercise the muscles in my mid-section. It is kind of nice to get through the hardest part. Now all that is left is to dance during graduation in front of the judge. The hardest part about that is fitting into my tux.

On a different note, my job still sucks. And I did not win the Powerball--I still have to continue to work. It was so nice to dream about winning 300 million dollars and what I would do with it. Unfortunately, someone in Oregon won. I am happy for that person, but I still wish it was me.

Wow. It has been awhile since I posted anything. Or at least it seems that way. If anyone is keeping count, I have seen Serenity 5 times now (paid for 3). Saturday night after the social at the dance club, I convinced several people (5 to be exact) to see the movie with me. I think they all enjoyed it. They laughed at all the right parts and even jumped in the right parts. I think it is a testament to the universal appeal of the film when you consider that the average age of the five people was over 50. We saw the movie at 10:40 PM and there were probably 6 or 7 people also in the theater. I thought that was decent considering the time.
The rest of my weekend was pretty full.

Saturday morning I went out to try and get my GEO Tracker moving. It has been parked for quite awhile in my driveway and something rusted together keeping the breaks from disengaging. I am not that mechanically inclined, so none the less I was unable to unstick the stuck thing. I called a friend to give me some advice and he ended up coming down with his two boys. We jacked up the rear driver's side and the wheel spun freely. As we let the car down, it made a pretty loud creaking sound. We then proceeded to jack up the rear passenger side, and that tire spun freely. As we stood around wondering if the front wheels were stuck, I decided to try to move the car. It actually moved. I think we freed up whatever was stuck when we let the car down on the driver's side.

Having freed the Tracker, I thanked my friend as they drove away and then went to the Grass Pad to get some advice on my lawn. My lawn sucks. I have somewhat ignored it for the last six years (since I moved in) and now I am paying for it. At the end of last year I had a sprinkler system put in, but the damage had already been done. One of the problems was that I had voles. These are little nocturnal mice that eat the roots of plants. Unlike moles who raise the ground, voles actually leave little paths on top of the ground. I have fairly deep ruts in my front yard from these little critters. Anyhow, I bought some stuff to spay on the lawn to loosen up the clay and make it agreeable to growing grass. I also bought 50 lbs of grass seed. After that I went to Lowe's and bought some equipment to fix my lawn: broadcast spreader, shovel, dirt, mulch fork. I still haven't done anything. I am a real procrastinator.

On Sunday, I found out that my maternal grandmother had passed away. I can't say that I wasn't expecting it. She has been in a nursing home for about 10 years and for the last month her body had been slowly shutting down. It was similar to what we saw when my paternal grandmother passed away. She stopped eating, she wasn't fully digesting anything she was taking. Several of my sisters had even flown out to Washington state to see before she passed away. They were in Washington when it happened. They had left for the evening and Grandma passed away a couple of hours later. I personally think she finally let herself leave once she saw them and knew it would be OK. Due to several reasons, her funeral won't be until next week. I have not received so many calls from my sisters as I did this week end. All of them seeming to complain about the others. My younger brother is actually using some of his frequent flyer miles so that he and my other two sisters can be there for the funeral. I have made my own arrangements. When my family gets together it is not always a good thing. They usually do pretty well for events like funerals and weddings. I just have to have a little hope.

Late Sunday afternoon was our Home Owner's Association meeting. It was quite interesting. It has been awhile since I have attended one. I saw my neighbors (who I do know) and many people that I don't. Some of the houses have changed since I was last at a meeting. There were some really young people there. They were probably early to mid-twenties. That really isn't that young, but when you are pushing 40 it sure seems like it. Anyhow, one of these young people is now the HOA president and my neighbor is concerned there will be a lot of drunkfest type parties. Most of the people that live around me are older with older kids and I know they wouldn't want that type of thing. It will be interesting as time goes by.

Intaminatis fulget honoribus
Untarnished, she shines with honor
--Wofford College motto

I really dislike this new project I am on. I am now stuck in a tech lead role which makes me more than an individual performer, but does not put me in charge--which is where I usually fall. When I was assigned the project my manager said he wanted me to get more technical experience with the tools being used. Unfortunately, I have worked with the lead architect and the requirements manager for a long period of time and they both are trying to pull me into their world. Normally, I wouldn't mind so much, but the project is well under way and I am new to the project and in a lead role. I need to be spending my time getting up to speed and creating order out of chaos.

As I said, the project has been going on for at least 4 or 5 months and I have been on the project approximately two weeks. In the two weeks since I joined, it has been determined that we need to go back and create high level process flow documents and the entire team is being reorganized into functional teams to fix some problems. There are numerous communications problems and no one seems to know what the other is doing and no one has control over the entire solution. I have been moved from an individual contributor role to a functional team lead role. I now have to figure out what my team needs to be focused on, determine what everyone is currently doing, and work a miracle with organization--all without missing any of the original delivery dates. The good news is that I actually have experience making this work as opposed to most of the other leads who are not usually in this sort of role. If I could keep the requirements manager and the architect off my back, it would be much easier.

Aside from all that, this project is requiring a lot of time and has an awful lot of meetings--something I am hoping to change. What this means is that I have not been able to play games with some friends either during lunch or after work. That part really sucks. It is kind of sad that the main reason I go to work is for the game playing. A good friend of mine actually was able to stay late tonight to play games and I was on the phone the entire time.

Also, what I forgot to mention is that there are a couple of sales pursuits that I was working on that are still requiring some of my time. Right now, I really need to be working on a cost model to separate the resources costs out by development phase so the salesman can try to align the potential client's payment with the actual costs incurred. I have to admit that I don't understand what he is doing, but it is definitely causing me more work.

Maybe I will win the Powerball tonight. Maybe...

Tonight was dance night. I have been taking ballroom dance lessons for over 5 years and I really do enjoy it. My problem tonight is that my instructor is trying to get me through the upcoming graduation. I have twelve dances that I work on and I am trying to graduate out of the Intermediate Siler II level in my secondary dances. I have 6 primary dances--waltz, foxtrot, tango, rhumba, east coast swing, and cha cha. My 6 secondary dances are west coast swing, bolero, Viennese waltz, quickstep, samba, and mambo. I happened to prefer the smooth dances over the rhythm (or latin dances). My favorites tend to be waltz and foxtrot, although I really enjoy Viennese waltz and quickstep.

Back to the checkout--we were working on the west coast patterns and I was just having all kinds of problems remembering the steps. I always dread the checkout part. You have to walk through the steps by yourself without a partner. All the women say it must be easier for us men because we have to lead the pattern all the time, so walking through it should be a piece of cake. The reality is that when you are used to the woman being there and you use the woman's location as a key to know what to do. When I walk through the pattern, I have a hard time pretending a woman is in the empty spot and I don't have her weight or her motion to help me continue through the step. When you are so used to a connection with a partner, it is hard to dance without that connection. In the end, I still need to practice the balboa kicks, but I think I know the steps.

I managed to get thought the samba steps without too much difficulty and the struggles with west coast took more time than I would have liked, but I did get to dance a couple of waltzes and I even managed to get through a couple of Viennese waltz steps. I would have liked to have gotten to quickstep, though. I feel like we have been ignoring quickstep and I am uncomfortable with that. Part of the problem is that quickstep is an advanced dance and most people don't have it on their program. What that means is during the lesson, quickstep music is not played often. You can sometimes dance quickstep to an east coast swing, but if everyone is dancing on the edge of the floor instead of moving to the center like they are supposed to, then it is still very difficult. I can't concentrate on the steps if I am constantly maneuvering around other people. I know I shouldn't complain so much, but it is still frustrating.

The graduation ceremony is the first Friday in November so I have until then to get these things in order or I have to wait until Spring. My instructor will deinitely not be happy if I wait until Spring.

You know how they say "the cobbler's children have no shoes", there seems to be way too much truth in it. I work for a large Information Technology company and was recently assigned to an internal project. I joined the project in flight and I am very scared. The project has high visibility and a very tight time frame. Worse, we have processes to manage projects and it seems the team is only vaguely aware of these. I have been working with the sales team for the past several years and we constantly are raving about our world class processes. It is very disappointing to find that these processes are ignored for an internal project. The even more disappointing thing is that the design for the solution seems to take a next generation tool and creates a legacy product. I feel really frustrated with the leadership team, as they don't seem to understand the situation. Since the project is replacing a legacy product, no one has taken the time to discuss next generation concepts with the business team who have provided the requirements. Since they so not know better they are creating legacy type requirements and the project team is unable to translate into something more.

The other frustration I have is with a diverse and disperse team. I understand the value of diversity, and I do believe with diversity you can get a "whole is greater than the sum if it parts" kind of thing going on. But it takes work to make it happen, just throwing diverse people together does not make synergy. It takes an understanding of the cultures and the ability to create a team culture that melds the individuals into a team. I have spent some time working with individuals from India, and it truly is a fascinating culture. Still, it can be very challenging in a team with Indian members. Indians have a different view on life and family that bleeds over into their work lives. I did not realize that very often there are multiple generations of a family living together with a patriarch who makes the important decisions. As Americans we are often pushed out of the family home early in life and forced to make decisions on our own, where many Indians are not. Quite the opposite, they have great respect for their elders and look to them for important decisions. In the workplace, they are often hierarchical and look to the leadership team to make the decisions. For the last ten years, we have been trying to empower the employee to make more decisions and to take ownership. This is still a new concept to the Indian worker. Perhaps some of this is leftover from the caste system, but until we acknowledge these differences and deal with them, diverse teams will not reach their potential.

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Serenity for the fourth time was still just as good. It was even in a mediocre theater. I paid particular attention to the music after having listened to the soundtrack. I still think there are a couple of pieces of music that should have been on the soundtrack, but without some of the movie sounds, the music lacks. The more I see the movie, the more I feel it is a very well done piece of cinematography. I love the story line. I feel for and with the characters. And I feel the coldness of space and the warmth of Serenity (the ship). One of the strongest emotional parts is when the crew has to deal with the captain turning the ship, their home, into a Reaver abomination. There are definitely a few scenes with a much more overt emotional price, but the emotional conflict from the time the Operative says "You're not a Reaver, Mal, you're a human man..." and you see that look of determination come across his face, until his speech about how he is the captain and they either need to do what he says or get off his boat... It is very tense for anyone who has seen the TV series and understands Serenity as the 10th character (in the TV show, Book and Inara were on the ship making a total of nine people). Even the fourth time it was something of an emotional roller coaster. Maybe more so, because when Wash was flying to pick up the mule after the heist, I got a little misty.

In my opinion Serenity is definitely a soon to be classic. While it might not do well in the theaters, it will always have a following. Its classic themes and likeable characters, and the battles of sorta good versus mostly bad all contribute to a movie that could be enjoyed by a wide range of people. If only those people knew that they should go see it.

Si monumentum requiris circumspice
"If you seek his monument, look around"
--epitaph of Sir Christopher Wren

I bought the Serenity soundtrack on Tuesday evening. Unfortunately, I was unable to post to the blog until today. I am not one who normally buys soundtracks, especially one with only instrumental music. Now I have a decent collection of classical music, but movie soundtracks are a different animal.

I like the soundtrack, but much like many others, I was disappointed that the instrumental version of the Firefly theme played at the end of the credits is not there. I am not sure if there was some sort of music rights issue or if they were just waiting to put it on the Firefly soundtrack due out later in October.

The music was not as moving on my car stereo as it was in the theater. It seems like the themes in the music change too quickly. I guess the movie moved pretty fast, but I think the soundtrack cuts up the themes a bit. For some reason I find it very reminiscent of LOTR:Return of the King. I hear the same kind of haunting solitude in the themes. It rings out quite a bit in the more somber themes in Serenity. While listening to the music I had pictures of Aragorn looking very solemn come to mind. The soundtrack is definitely something to be listened to at home on the stereo--the softer themes are lost in the car.

"She's tore up plenty, but she'll fly true." Zoe in Serenity

I saw Serenity again Friday night with several other friends. Because 1 person couldn't make it to an earlier movie we went to the 9:50 showing. We stayed at work and played games until we headed to the theater. The game of choice was Bang! from DaVinci games. Several of us have been playing it a lot lately so the games can be fairly quick. The part I hate is where some of the other guys are always trying to tell the rest of us how to play. Every time you play a card they tell that they wouldn't have played it that way and then go into a long dissertation about every possible strategy and why they would have chosen their strategy over yours. There are times when I just don't feel like playing because I don't want to deal with that. I really like to play games, but Bang! is an elimination game (players are eliminated until only the Sheriff remains) and I don't really care for elimination games. Some of the other games we have been playing are Oriente, Bohnanza, Totally Renamed Spy Game, Spite and Malice, and of course any version of Munchkin (from Steve Jackson Games).

Anyhow, I saw the movie for a third time and it was late in the evening for me and I didn’t nod off once. I was still kept engaged throughout the entire movie and I stilled jumped when the Reaver pole comes through the Serenity view port. It was still funny in the funny parts and still sad in the sad parts. I can’t wait for a soundtrack. After three times, I am still enthralled by the music. The score just works so well with the cinematography. It works better than in the TV series, which I think is saying a lot. I was a little disappointed that there weren’t more people in the theater, but I heard the estimated take for the weekend was just over $10 million. It is second after Flightplan for the weekend. I think all the Browncoats are a little disappointed in the numbers, but there still seems to be a lot of energy around keeping the movie going. Personal messages from director Joss Whedon on the Browncoat website are keeping spirits up. A lot of us are really hoping for a sequel to the BDM.

"You know what the first rule of flying is?"

"Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she oughtta fall down, tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home."

Malcolm Reynolds, Serenity