I think I am having a real mid-life crisis. In the last 15 years I have had several mid-life crises when I bought expensive things to make me feel better--a new sports car, a condo at the beach, etc. This has been much different. First it started with depression. I kept blaming it on a new project at work, but as I am working through things I think the project just gave it a little jump start. The project took me out of my comfort zone and I started stressing over the littlest things. I lost about 30 pounds before I got it under control.
Anyhow, this mid-life crisis has me reconsidering where I am in my life and where I want to be. I have a good job with a better than average salary, but I am finding that my life is lacking. Here I am going into my forties--I am still only forty and not in my forties until my birthday which seems to be rapidly approaching--and I have no life outside of work. I have sacrificed having a family for having a good salary and where am I now? With this new project I have been traveling a lot and while my friends say they miss me, I was gone for weeks and no one tried to call me or even send an email to see how things were going. I don't mind that my friends have their owns lives--I mind that there is no one special in my life to miss me. I get off the airplane and see all these families waiting for their loved ones and lately I wish there would be someone there for me. I say this and then I don't do anything about it. There are women in my life who could probably be persuaded to be more than friends, but I won't make the move. Maybe in the new year I will take my new not obese body and meet some women.
The next item on my list is all the stuff in my life. My parents are "collectors" meaning they can't throw anything away. I have the same problem. I have problem throwing away junk mail sometimes--I even have phone bills from 1991. I have been throwing some things away--not a lot since I haven't been home a lot, but I have plans to do more in the future. The laid plans of mice and men--most likely I will get over this before I do anything about it, but I am even thinking about selling or giving away my Lego's. I have a lot of Lego's--Castle sets from the 80's and 90's, Pirate sets from the 90's, almost all of the Star Wars sets. I have the coveted Lego guy that is approximately 2 feet high and the statue of liberty. Overall I have probably spent several thousand dollars on Lego's over the last 20 years. They used to bring me a lot of pleasure, but I think I have finally grown up. I have 6 or 7 sets that have not been put together and I took apart my 4 foot long Star Destroyer and put it away. I have a lot of other games and toys that I am contemplating getting rid of. The material things just aren't doing it for me right now. I keep thinking I should pack it all up and take it to one of those eBay Stores and have them sell it for me. I am just not sure how much money they would keep.
Next time: The House
