I should have packed more for my trip tomorrow, but alas I always leave everything until the last minute. I talked to my little sister earlier today and she said that is what we do. It is something I want to change about myself, but I am not sure how to. And I keep procrastinating on figuring out a way. It is a never ending circle--although I want to say it is spiral because a little bit of procrastination just leads to more.

I had a really nice dinner with some friends who have birthdays really close together. There were just four of us and I really enjoyed. The waitress assumed Cyn and I were a couple and put our orders on the same bill. In the end Cyn paid for everyone's dinner--I tried to pay for half since the other couple were th ones with the birthdays, but she insisted. That was very sweet of her. I wish I didn't have such personal issues because I would love to have her more in my life.

Which brings me to an interesting thought. These last couple of days I have been using this blog as sort of personal journal. I know that technically this is not a private journal although from Google Analytics I know that only a couple of people have stumbled across it and none of them have stayed more than the time necessary to click away. I think secretly I am writing things that I would really like to tell people in my life. I would really like to have the courage to talk to a professional. I did that once a long time ago when my brother was killed. I only went for one session, because I wasn't really truthful with the shrink and I did not see how I was going to get any help that way. In a weird way I am hoping people happen upon this, but I don't know what I want to happen next. I guess it is my own twisted therapy.

My luck continues to wane--I checked my Powerball tickets to confirm I did not win and I lost two games of Explorers on AsoBrain.com.

Tomorrow I fly to Canada for training and I am filled with trepidation. My biggest fear is that the Franchisor will see that I have problems and back out. I think that is why I have been having such a time telling people I bought the franchise. It is like women who are pregnant but don't want to say anything until they feel comfortable the pregnancy will go to term. Everyone keeps telling me not to worry and now I feel the pressure of having to live up to those expectations and the fear of letting them down.

Anyhow, I need to go to bed so I can get up and have breakfast with some friends before they take me to the airport. Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite.