I am feeling very weak and I have this constant pain in my chest and stomach.  I called HomeVestors and they have not called me back, I sent an email to the President of the Franchisor and he hasn't not responded, and I did not go home as I had planned.

This week was rough.  A couple of years ago I had to get a new water heater.  I signed a one contract with the company, because cost of the one year contract with the discount on the water heater was less than just the water heater.  Since then they have wanted to come out an do an inspection.  They continued to call me even though the contract was up--they said they owed it to me.  Finally, I said yes.  I spent much of Monday cleaning my house to a point that I was acceptable with.  They came out on Tuesday and of course they were lots of little problems. Anyhow, my house was now pretty clean.  I thought that would make me feel better, but it didn't.

On Monday I talked to my regional guy with the Franchise and told him I was thinking of closing up shop.  He told me I had to speak to the president.  Since then all my anxiety and everything has gotten worse.  I am reading Rick Riodan's Percy Jackson novels late into the night.  While I am enjoying the story, because of the sleep aids I don't remember what I read the night before very well so I end up reading those parts again.  Anyway I have been staying up way to late.

Last night I went to the club for the weekly party which they moved to Thursday this week because there was something else going on Friday night.  It has been awhile since I have been to the club and it was nice to see some friends again.  I was nervous all night that someone may ask me how I was doing.  I tried to tell Andi, but she didn't seem interested and I didn't push the issue.  I really need someone to talk to, but I don't know who.  I had a pretty good talk with my older sister on Monday and she agreed that I needed to get out of the franchise.  It was because of her I actually sent the email message.

I talked with Dad on Sunday--I know I am jumping around from a time standpoint and if I am repeating anything I apologize.  Dad was doing good although he was tired from the surgery a couple weeks ago.  He is not young and I told him it would take some time to heal.  It sounded a little hoarse, but his spirits were up.  I don't usually talk to Dad and when I do it is mostly about the weather and other inconsequential stuff.  He actually opened up a little and told me how he had felt anxiety when he and Mom were worrying about money before they both started collecting social security and Mom was collecting retirement from her previous job.  I was glad to hear her was planning to go with Mom to Germany for a couple of weeks after my baby sister has her third child--which is supposed to be a girl.  She is very excited about that after having two boys.

My psychologist appointment is in less than two hours and I haven't even taken a shower.  I need to go.  I don't know what I am going to tell him, but I would love to be able to tell him that he needs to be pushing harder.